Wrestling Giants: Why Conquering Fear Matters.
Our motto and our name sake, Run to Danger, is more than a name. It is, for those who choose to adopt it, a way of life. A motto to encourage you to step out and be courageous, to take risks and stand up tall before insurmountable odds. But why? What is the cost? It it worth the risk?
“We are all of us not merely liable to fear, we are also prone to be afraid of being afraid, but the conquering of fear produces exhilaration. The contrast between the previous apprehension and the present relief and feeling of security promotes a self-confidence that is the very father and mother of courage. Courage is not something that you already have that makes you brave when the tough times start. Courage is what you earn when you’ve been through the tough times and you discover they aren’t so tough after all.”
-David and Goliath by Malcom Gladwell
Raising children has taught me to examine my beliefs. To breakdown the things that I believe are important and learn how to impart those values on my children. In a world that seems to desire convenience and ease, I don’t think I am alone when I say I want my children to work hard. I want them to be brave and courageous. I want them to trust their abilities and to take chances. I want to raise children who know that when they fail, they need to find their flaws and try again.
Wrestling is more than a sport. The character built on the mat carries over into all aspects of life. My first real job during college was through a wrestling connection. The regional manager was known for giving college wrestlers jobs. Why? Simple, their ability to work hard, show up on time and be accountable. Skills learned on the mat. Skills that are not learned in one season but a lifetime of seasons.
You see as a wrestler, you have no one to answer to but yourself. Your work ethic, your coachability, your diet and your desire to win doesn’t come from a coach. It doesn’t come from your parent. In the wrestling room fights break out, kids cry and others threaten to quit. The wrestling room forces you to face the ugly parts of humanity. The parts of yourself you normally try to hide. The hidden places that are suddenly revealed when you feel broken and vulnerable. This is the place where character is created. This is why we run to danger.
Now as a parent it can be hard to put our children into positions where we know failure is eminent. After all, it’s our job to protect them, to keep them from harm and build their confidence. But what if I told you that its also our job to lead them into uncertain waters, to force them to face giants and lose. You see wining is great. I love to win and I hate to lose. However when the desire to win creates a fear of losing, you become the big fish in a small pond. The big fish who never leaves his small pond becomes the little man. You know the type, the one with the inflated confidence, the one who pins the failure on others, the one who steals the win from the team.
Leading your child into into the big pond, into danger, feels counterintuitive. But let me tell you what feels right: sitting with your child, holding them in your arms as tears stream down their cheeks. Telling them they you’re proud. Assuring them that they gave it their all and tried their best. Reminding them that your love is unconditional. Coming alongside them and building them back up. They are broken now but they won’t be for long. This is the opportunity for growth. This is the place where character is created. This is the gift of wrestling.
These are the moments they will look back on when they need to pick themselves back up after opening a rejection letter, a round of layoffs or their first real heartbreak. Because of these moments, they trust that they are good enough, they dig a little deeper, find their flaws and try again. Not because they wrestled for a season but because they had a lifetime of seasons. A lifetime of lessons proving these things to be true.
Courage is not something you already have. Courage is what you earn. Run to danger my friends.